Yet, in the world of human form, physicality, conceptions, you are also all the time something of a mirage to this person. As a young person I heard stories of Buddhist nuns in Asia praying to be born as men in the next lifetime, for greater spiritual attainment. So the best I hope to do as a student of consciousness is to love and appreciate my Teacher for her service, her wisdom, her talents, the spiritual work she has done. But, dear friends, after 18 years of yearly, long meditation retreats, and constant training in the Dharma with very awake Teachers, I am of the opinion that there are places in my consciousness that are thick like mud, and that the filters we wear run very deep, for decades! In addition to the Dragon Court’s research into DNA, over two years ago the author who, many years ago, was the first to pinpoint the potential chemicals indictated in the precise hormonal makeup of the Holy Grail and Grant’s Starfire phenomena (which information he subsequently passed, in part, on to Laurence Gardner), also commissioned the assay of various organic fluids in order to discover and prove the presence of a range of these vital psychotropic and restorative chemicals discharged by the human female system.

The most potent vampire is the Dracoi or female Dracoica, from whence the House of Drakul obtained its name, meaning ’Satan’ or ’Dragon’ whilst Drakulea or Dracula means ’son of Satan’ or ’son of the Dragon’. Sadly however, because a bunch of right-wing Hungarian nationalists then claimed Sumerian roots by virtue of a discovery made in a backyard they had only recently overrun, subsequent to the discovery in the 1960’s and the attendant madcap claim, no academic would give the proto-Sumerian theory house room, not wishing to accommodate the views of a collection of neo-nazi cranks and quite rightly so. One day, after our morning filming, Sensei looks up from her natto and congee breakfast and says, "I’m going to take you somewhere special." We catch the subway, then a taxi, and soon we are at Daitokuji, Kyoto’s historical Rinzai Zen monastery. After the heart realises what it did not know and how it continued to act in ignorance, it can sing a mournful song as an offering, then turn it to a joyful one; the eyes look up, brighter. I've had a resting heart rate of 19 measured, I don't believe the guineas record trivia is accurate. And, to have compassion for all involved in the messy game of waking up.

And, if you open your mind not only to its untouched nature and historical buildings but also to people - you will see how kind and hospitable they are. If you think you’re going to get hurt, you will. LOVE the tortured musician vibe going on here. Here it clearly says that devatas (gods) were situated in a physical location. Approximately on day four, we realized we were cut off. On the eighth day of our isolation, in the afternoon, a car emerged abruptly in front of the fence of our premises. A mirage of their memories, hurts, previous perceptions. With my set of lenses, biases, hurts, looking at her as clearly as I can. If I have learned anything from having a female Teacher and a diverse sangha, it is that my ping-pong ball reactions set off, bouncing in all directions with every contact made between us. Through all of this, I see more clearly all the ways I have dismissed my female Teacher and the women in my life.

So if I felt I was not equal in potential to my male sangha brothers, how could I have the confidence in my female Teacher that I had for my male Teacher? These, the apples of red-gold, produce the enriched virginal womb blood that was consumed by both the male and female druids - the Boars in the Orchard and the Serpents or Dragons in the Trees. One who both cared for and scolded you, a female figure, the authority, who moulded you from tantruming toddler into a functioning adult? Who she is. A wise being, cloaked in a caucasian mid-Western American woman’s body, and all the projections we apply to it, trying to help. Walking through the cedar entrance gates, I follow Sensei again, my meditation beacon, tuned in with her body, her posture, her pace, her gait. Sensei is Sensei. Just her. As Qapel and Sensei said about Vajrayana teaching in a recent meditation retreat on the 12 Manjushris: Not everything works out perfectly. I follow Sensei around the building, the skin of our bare feet kissing the dark wood floors, smooth from centuries of foot service.

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